All We Have
by WeirdAnimeChick
Summary: Sasuke has second thoughts about leaving Konoha, too bad that he cant change his mind now...so he'll just have to settle for leaving Oto and going after Itachi. Is better then it sounds. I promise. Songfic. The Rocket Summer - Brat Pack.


Summary: Sasuke leaves Konoha to train with Orochimaru, but he has second thoughts a little too late. Now he can't leave. He stays with the snake nin for he still needs to kill Itachi. And that is that. Songfic. Brat Pack- The Rocket Summer.

Disclaimer: Don't Own Naruto or The Rocket Summer

Key:

Song lyrics- _Any way you want it_

Story - Any way you want it

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For about four years I've hated this town

_Yeah, so much I just wanna get out_

_Since graduation was long ago_

_Please somebody get me out of this hole_

I absolutely abhor Konoha now. Such a village, such a placid place, holds nothing for me. This place has taught me about everything but what I need to know about, what I crave and yearn to know about and to accomplish: revenge. For this goal, I only need to do one thing: escape. Both said simply, both accomplished with difficulty. This is why I must leave. I am a ninja now. I have graduated from the academy, I have survived the chunnin exams, I am aware that I am at a higher level than a chunnin even though my skills are not apparent to the proctors. I know I am and yet, I know I must still get stronger to achieve my goal. That is why I long to be removed from this place, from this village, from these restrictions, these bonds. Orochimaru, take me away to learn. Take me away to my brother. Take me away to my victory. Please, please, fulfill my wish and lift me towards my goal. Remove me from my bonds.

'_Cause I don't want to get stuck in here_

_When I am thirty-four just talkin' 'bout high school years_

_No I don't wanna be there, and I feel so stuck right here_

_Back and forth, side to side, oh my dear_

I know if I stay, these shackles will grow ever tighter around me and restrict me so that I can never leave, never carry out my duty and take my revenge. Which is exactly why I must leave, I will never accomplish my goal here. That is the only thing that matters, not my life, not my village, not my bonds, simply revenge. I can't wait for Konoha, for this village to go after my brother or give me leave to hunt him freely, I can't wait. I need to get strong now. I need to kill Itachi. I can't let anyone else do it for me. I must take back the honour of the Uchiha clan and kill him. I must leave yet I have become acutely aware that I no longer want to. I realize that I have grown attached to the people here; the love struck girls, the random guys and the crazy teachers. They mean more to me than most things, but I cannot stay here with them to reminisce. I must leave, for while I am here, I am trapped, I cannot move, I am bound. My God, let me move; let me go, let me avenge.

_My foot to the floor I will drive to the place _

_Where I can kick it with friends through the night_

I get up and I leave Konoha with my new companions, the bondless figures beside me that are bound to help me on my quest. They accept me and my need for vengeance, for the justice I am searching to serve. I'll go to the Sound. I can go there with them. I know they'll help me train, to grow stronger. I know this, for they will be ordered to do so. Through both the night and day we'll train and soon, I'll be strong enough to carry out my mission. I know it.

_A place we'll talk about now and the past, what the future holds_

_Hangin' out with not much to do_

_Just aimless with each other_

_Is what we do_

Now that I have joined the sound, have broken any bonds that I once possessed and am finally ready to train so that I can beat my brother and avenge my clan, no one is willing to help me. Orochimaru-sama has gone away and thus I am left with the bratty 4 to help create a stronger me, something that they don't seem too keen on helping with. Instead of training, like I had hoped, we stay up late, we patrol, we fight off sleep and we talk. Every night, I find out something new about one of them, about all of them. Every night I learn about their pasts, why they're here, what their dreams were and what will become of them now. Suigetsu, Jirobo, Sakkon/Ukkon and Tayuya, they all have their reasons, they all have their pasts, they've all had their dreams and they all have empty futures.

When the Sound 4 – now 5 – finally inquire about me and my past instead of filling the silence with their histories I am surprised that I feel nothing. I don't flare with anger, I don't inwardly recoil in defense, and I'm not elated that they "care" at all. I feel nothing at all as I tell them what most in Konoha, in my home, don't know about. They looked at me with pity, though I'm not sure if it was the loss of my family, my seeking revenge or the fact that I wound up where they were when I had a choice. Either way I don't care. I feel as much as I did before I told them my past. They don't mention it afterwards, just like I don't mention what they've told me. It's aimless, it's useless, but it's how we get through the days and nights together. It's what they did, it's what we do and these pointless sessions will continue until I extract my revenge. It doesn't matter. It's just to pass the time.

'_Cause this ain't where it's at_

_And my friends will second that_

It's been five months since I've arrived at this village. Five months of learning next to nothing and of doing about as much as that. I realize that the only part about coming here that I'm grateful for is the freedom here that I didn't have in Konoha. I know now that this wasn't the best thing I could have done, I know the friends, no; comrades, I had before would tell me the same thing, that I am sure of. Any bonds I have with those people are broken; I couldn't go back if I wanted to. I am a missing nin now. It doesn't matter, for here I am and here is where I'll stay.

_And I gotta admit _

_Sometimes it's pretty sad_

_But it's like we're our own brat pack_

_We're always kickin' back_

_Nobody can take that_

_And that is that, it's like it's all we have_

_Whoa! Whoa! Oh! Yeah! Oh!_

I know now that the Sound village is worse than the Leaf village, and I know that Orochimaru is now quite useless as a sensei. I know now that I was wrong to leave Konoha to gain power. Though I have gained something more here, more than power, I have gained the freedom I need. I have made it half way to my revenge though. Besides, the others in Otogakure have helped me where the Sannin has not. I have learned things; jutsu's and battle tactics derived from the many different villages everyone has come from. I would be grateful to them if they had possessed a better reason than that of having needles of boredom pierce their balloons of I-don't-care-any-more. No one can take this away, no outside force, nothing out of this little pack we've secretly made. Not even Orochimaru. Especially not Orochimaru.

_Come on say "Oh! Oh! Get on the floor! Dance 'til you got no more!"_

_I know it's there somewhere_

_Don't worry; I'll be there_

_To rock the party all night_

_To rock it 'till there's light_

I hear the cheers of the Oto nin as I continue to spar with yet another opponent. They cheer for me as they always do and they know as well as I do that I will only stop when I pass out from exhaustion. But what they don't know is that during these training fights with them, I am searching for something. I am searching for my answer to the question I am uncertain of. I'll stay here, I'll go there, and I will find it, no matter where it is or how long it takes. I will find it. So I will continue to fight here. I will continue to get stronger. I will fight for as long as it takes. And I do. This is my second day fighting with no more than and hour of rest. I know I won't last much longer but I don't know how close I am. It seems like this goes on forever, I cannot tell how close I am or how far I am from my answer. The only thing I am certain about it is that I will search from dawn to dusk and vice versa for it until I find and seize it.

_Our fists in the air_

_Fightin' the good fight_

I constantly dream of the fight that is inevitable. Two Uchiha's using our incendiary attacks and all-seeing Sharingan. I never witness the end of our battle, but I like to imagine that I raise my fist in victory after, vengeance taken, justice served. My face is emotionless and I am tired, nearing death. I look at the body of my brother beneath me; the blood of both remaining Uchiha's mingling together, becoming one. One traitor, one honorable, both bleeding, both journeys ended. The main difference between the two is that one is dead and one is soon to be.

'_Cause we were singing along to Peter_

_Gabriel's "Sledgehammer" song_

We do a lot of stuff in Otogakure, that I have to admit, but the strangest thing I have ever done is have music playing while I train. I guess some of it is good for certain aspects of battle such as distraction and timing and shifting through excess sound to find exactly what you want as quickly as you possibly can. I could deal with the music, I can justify it. The one thing that really disturbs me when we train like this is how all those who are not engaged in the fight tend to sing and dance to the music. I can't help but wonder if there is a reason other than the jutsu's for why this village is named the way it is.

_You know it's clear that tonight we belong in this place_

_So I step out to reflect in this town I hate_

I awaken to find myself surrounded by the ninja who had been helping me train for the past week. They were sitting in a circle around me, on their guard, protecting me and the village. I get up and they smirk at me before nodding and running off to their designated posts that were more than likely covered by over-tired shinobi…or not covered at all. I look into the sky and notice the sun, in the midst of either setting or rising, perfect. I strode into the part of town that I knew would be deserted and I recalled everything that had happened. I recalled Konoha, I recalled the varied shinobi found here and I recalled why I did everything. I hate this town, I hate the bonds that follow me and restrict me everywhere I go, but this will all end soon. On this split second decision I reach the boarder to the village and soon after the nation. I belong everywhere and nowhere. It makes no sense to me yet it seems to make sense to everyone else. I'm confused, but this one thought keeps me grounded and keeps me sane, keeps me going at this still near exhaustion point

_And at least just for a second _

_I think I might stay_

I stop at the invisible line, knowing that if I cross this boarder like I did so many years ago, there is no going back. Nothing I do will ever return this moment back to me and will never let me cross this line back to where I am now. I look back and can make out the first land mark towards the current hide-out. I'm can almost picture running by there with a few other Oto nin but I blink, smearing the image in my mind and dissolving the memory before it can manifest fully. And with naught a glance over my shoulder, I cross the boarder once more, the one that separates my two homes and for the second time in my life, I throw away everything.

I reach the boarders of the Leaf village and carve the sign on the arch above the entrance with my eyes before shrouding myself a little deeper in the shrubbery to avoid detection. I remember when I left this place with such vivacity that it could be happening this second. I remember my hesitation, almost giving in and finally my decision and acceptance in what I was doing. Here I am again, with the same doubts, the same fears, in the same place. Only today, I'm throwing away two lives, the first for the second time in this life and the second for the first. I almost laugh at my thoughts, a laugh that almost turns into a sob. But I am an Uchiha, the last real Uchiha, I can't cry. Not now. So with one last, longing glance at my old home, my old life, my best memories, I run away before I can change my mind once more. For the second time this day, I find myself at the boarders of the Fire Nation and for the second time this day I almost don't cross it. For the second time today, I cross this boarder, simply making more lines that I can never cross back, but I've made my decision, twice now, and I'm leaving, I'm going to my dream. I'm going on my journey now. I'm going.

_This ain't where it's at_

_And my friends will second that_

I can picture the shinobi in the Sound village running around, only now noticing that I am no longer inside the boarders. I can see Orochimaru screaming at losing me. And I can observe everyone sad that I am gone, not because they will miss me, but because their balloons are back and the needles are there, but the force to press one into the other is now missing, now gone.

I can see Naruto, only now noticing my presence, lingering just outside the village boarders. I can observe him scrambling around, trying frantically to go and search for me, to get leave to go and to get a team of back up if he must. I can picture everyone almost in tears or almost in rage at remembrance of what I did and wishing I were dead and not stalking the village.

Everyone I know doesn't think I'm where I should be. And nor do I.

_And I gotta admit_

_Sometimes it's pretty sad_

_But it's like we're our own brat pack_

_We're always kickin' back_

_Nobody can take that_

_And that is that_

I remember hanging out with the Sound ninja, sparring and talking about our past. We speak of why Orochimaru has decided to take us in and we speak of why we accepted. We spill our secrets in the cover of night, never to have them repeated or spoken about after. You don't talk about what isn't important and you don't relay what was said to simply fill the silence. Still, it's always nice to have someone listen to you.

I recall sitting with the rookie 9 and the other added teams. I remember the gossip they would talk about and how Naruto would try to include me into the conversations, attempts that would end with a fist fight and more than one threat to Naruto's life if he decided to try anything like that again to me. I didn't speak then, and in the glow of the day we would speak about secrets that were meant to be shared and spread around, the fake secrets that manifested and were personified. They always spoke, I never did. Still, it's always nice to listen to someone.

They were both sad lives. Sad figments of my past, fragments of my memory doomed to blur and fade. It was pathetic, what we did. It's pathetic, what I'm doing. But I'm glad that I at least did the former, the latter I'll just have to wait and see about.

_So I run away to the hopes that I have_

_But still I fall asleep in the arms of my past_

I'm a completely rouge ninja now. Two villages behind me, none in front of me, nothing but my goal is awaiting me now. It seems like forever before I finally stop, my throat is dry and it hurts to breath. It hurts to swallow. I drop from the branch I was on and set up camp. There are traps to alert me for intruders and I barely have time to do that before my body gives out on me and I collapse to the ground, falling into the never ending battle of justice and deception. My dream switches on me, my mentality becoming more and more of a detriment, now that I am finally going to fulfill my fate as the last honorable Uchiha.

I am back in Konoha. I'm exhausted from a spar I've just had with Naruto and we're coming back to the meeting point. Our arms are looped around one another's shoulders as we limp back towards the bridge. Sakura freaks out at the sight of us both and Kakashi just smiles behind his mask. We leave and eat supper together, Ichiraku's Ramen, and Naruto is trying to goad me into a battle of steal stomachs and ramen consumption. The sad part is: it's working. I smirk, the closest I've come to a smile in longer than I can consciously remember and lift the steaming bowl to my lips.

Again my mind switches up the pace and I'm back in my house, back in the Uchiha estate. My mother is cooking and my father isn't back yet. Onigiri is placed in front of me as I study close to her. I give her a small smile, she grins back. I know she cares. Itachi walks in and steals one off the plate, poking my forehead as he passes through. I know he cares too. I glance at the only female that resides here, I see her back and know that she's washing dishes, so I scamper after my older brother and beg for him to help me train. For this I get poked once more, the spot on my forehead tingling from its one finger abuse. But I smile anyway as he leaves, caressing the spot that still calls for his touch.

_And when I wake so helpless and thinkin' of that_

_Just lay back down_

_Again_

_Everyday_

I awake with a start, the birds fleeing from nearby trees. I look around and I'm alone in the forest. I'm not in Konoha, I'm not fighting Itachi, I'm not at home with my mother and my brother and I'm not still stuck in the Sound. I feel something wet on my cheek and I'm not sure if it's a tear or the cold sweat I seem to have woken up in. I sigh and lay back down, my arms still in the makeshift pillow I seem to have used them as when I was unconscious. I try to calm down, I try to close my eyes and return to who I was all those years ago. All those hours ago, if I can at least manage that. But alas, I am stuck in the present, in this body, in this sweat, in these tears and in this damned forest.

Again, I am stuck as myself; as the present Sasuke. The same way it has been since that night all those years ago: the night when I slept between cold corpses, trying to warm them with my own body, trying to revive them, trying to obtain what I lost, what I didn't really have to begin with, the night I swore revenge and swore to shed no more tears. Bloody and broken, I swore and I, as the present Sasuke, am still bound to those blood soaked promises. And I intend to keep them.

So everyday when I sleep, I dream of nightmares. I dream of happy places. I dream of completion. I dream of my end. So everyday when I wake up, realizing that it is the same faux hope and relief I felt the night before, I simply lay back down and think about what my subconscious has lain before me. Everyday I do this. Everyday.

_So maybe later today I'll know_

_What I will do with my life as I know it_

I'm hoping that today is the day I'll know. That today is when all the pieces fall into place and everything is sorted and everything is good and I will be found and dragged into my past because everything is right. But I know that today will not be that day. Nor will tomorrow.

I think about the first segment of my dream, I think about Itachi and our inevitable fight. If he dies. No. When he dies, I don't know what I will do. My goal will be completed. The Uchiha clan's honour will have been restored and everything that I've worked up to will have finally happened. So, when the time comes, when Itachi has died, there is only one road I can take. It is my only option, the way I see it. When Itachi dies, so will I. This way, nothing like this will ever happen again. This way, I will be free. This way, the Uchiha's will finally end and with us anything that could ever defile our name. We shall be immortalized, we shall have been redeemed and we shall stay that way.

_Maybe for now I'll_

_Drive back to that place where I belong_

_And hope to god it hasn't changed_

My course of action has now been planned, but there is one thing that I did not take into consideration. Something of importance that I see now may change the outcome of my plan. I don't want to die yet. I know I won't live long, not with Konohagakure and Otogakure shinobi after me. Thus I decide to backtrack, to return to my original village, my original life. Memories of the ninja I had grown up with flash through my mind as well as secret places, known only to a few people. But most of all, my memories of team 7 and before my family was killed are at the forefront of my mind. I turn around, leaving my camp the way I set it up and run towards the boarder, towards the village, hoping that everything is the as it was when I left. So I return to Konoha. One. Last. Time.

_This ain't where it's at_

_And my friends will second that_

_And I gotta admit_

_Sometimes it's pretty sad_

_But it's like we're our own brat pack_

_We're always kickin' back_

_Nobody can take that_

I am close enough to the training grounds to see the group of shinobi that used to be my comrades hanging out. I see Naruto excuse himself and walk towards where I am hidden alone. I focus on him alone as he starts to speak to himself.

"We miss you, Sasuke. Come home. Come home, please. You belong here, not there. Come back to where you belong."

At first I think he's talking to me, that is before he scoffs and flops down on his back in the shade, his arm covering his eyes, protecting them from what little sun could get through the leaves.

"Here I am talking to myself when I should be focusing on training to get stronger to **force **him back. It's not like he'll simply jump beside me now and come back. Not even he can read me that well."

I'm seriously tempted to do exactly what he said I wouldn't do, but my stomach contorts and I stay where I am. Hinata and Kiba (accompanied by Akamaru) soon show up and drag the blonde away to partake in some activities they had planned for their apparent day off.

So I left. I let them have their fun without me. I know that at least one of them agrees with me; I'm not where I'm supposed to be. But I know what I must do, what I will do. So right before Konoha leaves my sight I stop and look at it. I whisper goodbye and press my fingers to my lips, letting my hand drift towards the village in farewell. I then face my future, my fate, and set off for the last time, leaving everything that I used to be in my wake with only my friends to hold onto it all.

_No, no, no_

I will complete my mission without further interruption, for now no one can affect it, can affect anything about me at all. No. No one, nothing at all, can change anything. Can't change the past, can't change the future, can't change anything. Not any more.

_This ain't where it's at_

_And my friends will second that_

_And I gotta admit_

_Sometimes it's pretty sad_

_But it's like we're our own brat pack_

_We're always kickin' back_

_Nobody can take that_

_And that is that_

I cross the boarder without pausing for a second and continue on my way to where I last heard of an appearance made by the Akatsuki, by my brother. I will no longer hold back, I will no longer look back and I will stop for nothing less than my final battle. Many would say this is foolish and reckless. I would have to say that I agree with them. I know that this is stupid, but it is the only thing I have left and, with or without friends or help, I will complete it. I shall not waver in this decision I have made, for it is the only thing that I am in control of. The death of the last two remaining Uchiha's, the avenging of said clan and the honour of it all. All of that is what my life has been about from that blood soaked day. The end, the completion of these tasks, will justify the means, the bonds I've broken and the people I've hurt. As long as I accomplish this goal, nothing else matters. It just so happens that I'm the only one who's able to do it. That's all there is too it.

_It's like it's all we have._

This is all I have and I'm willing to give up anything and everything for it; Konohagakure, Otogakure and even my life. As long as I get what I want; what I've done all of this for.

It's all I have.

It's all I ever will have.

And I will see it through.

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A/N: This turned into more of like a diary than I figured it would, I guess it's decent. Thank you for reading this until the end. What did you think?

Sorry about the random crack I had in the middle there, I had nothing to put for those lines. I also apologize for doing this when I should be working on new chapters for my pre-existing stories.

Hope it wasn't as repetitive as I think it is. If so it'll be Fahrenheit 451 all over again, scary!

Beta is Animefreak4261!

-WAC


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